Post written by Candi Broeffle, MBA and Certified Professional Coach, Composure Executive Coaching
Transitions come in all shapes and sizes. Some are minor; like taking on a new role at work, starting an exercise program, or redecorating your home. Others are major; like losing your job, having a baby, or losing a loved one. Transitions are changes that are sometimes chosen by us or given to us. Either way, change is stressful.
When we are stressed we tend to approach the situation in two ways:
- From a state of resignation – “Why is this happening to me?” “No one understands what I am going through.” “Why won’t they help me?” or “I can’t do anything about this.”
- From a state of aggression – “Why did you do something so irresponsible?” “Where were you when I needed you?” “It’s her fault I had to leave.” or “I’m so stupid.”
Moving beyond the stress and the negative emotions involves more than just thinking positive thoughts. The following four disciplines will help you to build resilience in the most trying times:
- Awareness – take the time to observe and assess yourself and everything around you in the moment. Understand that what is true for you is not necessarily the Truth.
- Acceptance – no matter how much you feel it “shouldn’t” be happening, it is happening. Resisting what is happening only causes you pain. Don’t take things personally, and don’t look at anything that happens as more than it actually is. Don’t catastrophize!
- Conscious Choice – being present to what is happening allows you to consciously make choices of how you will respond. Rather than responding from just your thoughts or emotions, tap into your intuition as well.
- Trusting the Process – by focusing on long-term growth versus short-term rewards, you are less likely to get sidelined. Look for the lesson in each experience as you constantly review your plan and make shifts as needed.
By tapping into the four disciplines you will understand the fear you are experiencing and gain a fresh perspective.
Finally, let’s remember that fear and excitement feel the same. Choose excitement!